This is your neighborhood friendly weirdo bringing you the latest in her not-so-interesting life. Two things first: a) my mother might quite possibly have that malignant tumor everyone hates and b) we are trying not to let it bother us.

Last Saturday, I received a call that made me want to punch the wall. There were (a lot of) premature crying and neurotic breakdowns (mainly on my part) but I have since recovered (as if I should be the one recovering, haha!) and life is pretty much back to normal except that my parents have arrived here to do medical checkups and needle pokings and all that good stuff. I guess I should say it’s all pretty normal except for the cancer part. That part kind of sucks.

Apart from my day to day of activities of caring for A Person Who Might Have Cancer, I’ve been receiving rejection letters from literary agents, whopppeeee! Things are not going so well right now, but as Winston Churchill once said, I must keep my chin up and try not to fuck things up further, eh? (He might not have said it, I don’t know, I only got that A in history because I knew a lot things about men in mustaches like Hitler and Stalin and those kamikaze fighters and I’m pretty sure Churchill never had a mustache. You know who had the best mustache though, in my opinion? Tom Selleck. Tom’s mustache will fuck up all of y’all prepubescent ones. And Frank Zappa. That’s why Frank was so good with his guitar; all his talents were spurned out by his mustache. R.I.P Frank. And fuck you prostate cancer.)

Anyway, the results will be out on Monday and we’re hoping that the previous tests are all wrong and that the tumors aren’t malignant and that my mom is going to be alright. That’s all for now, everyone! Have a good weekend!




23 Apr 2014 Update: Guys, it’s been confirmed that she has lung cancer, and she’s undergoing treatment for it. My mom has been really strong about and we’re hoping it will turn out okay! Please keep her in your prayers. Love, E.