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So. Last night. Germany. Argentina. World Cup. And me.

I got out of bed at 3 in the morning because a) I wanted to watch the only sport I truly care about in the world and b) I had a weird craving for cheese crackers. I was completely gunning for TEAM GERMANY (I got your back, Muller darling!) and I literally fell off the couch when Gotze scored that beautiful, wonderful, perfect goal in the last twenty minutes of extra time.

Argentina tried really hard but Germany dominated the game and at the last few minutes King Messi got a free kick and I thought, HOT DAMN WE’RE GOING TO GO INTO PENALTY, WHICH IS ONLY LIKE THE COOLEST THING EVER but as it turned out, Messi couldn’t score that last free kick he got. (Although, with all due respect, it is SUPER HARD to score one under these circumstance.)

The clock hits 123 mins and it was game over which meant that Germany won and life as we knew it is over for Argentina and Messi and suddenly, I wasn’t so sure if that Gotze goal was so beautiful after all.

You should see the Argentinians faces. Really, you should.

messi 3
See that?

messi 2

And that?

messi 4

And that?

messi 5

That, my friends, is the face of a man utterly deflated.

Even the stupid Golden Ball award didn’t make him smile.

messi bummed1 messi bummed2

messi bummed3 messi bummed4

messi bummed5 messi bummed6

messi bummed7 messi bummed8

Excuse me while I go to a corner and cry. 

And I thought to myself, this is wrong. Like, he’s worked hard to get here. EVERYONE worked really hard to this stage and CAN’T WE JUST HAVE TWO WINNERS NOW AND HAVE TWO SMALLER CUPS INSTEAD OF ONE BIG ONE BECAUSE BOTH TEAMS REALLY DESERVED IT. And then I felt really shitty for choosing sides (even though I really like Muller) and the cameras kept cutting between smiling Germans and stony Messi and team (*sobs uncontrollably*) and it was just HORRIBLE. HORRIBLE WORLD CUP.

So, yeah. That was my night. I might be slightly overemotional right now (WHEN aren’t I overemotional these days?) because the game lasted for like three hours and I’ve barely slept. And also Argentina, please don’t cry. You can come to my house and I will run you hot baths and buy you pizza and we can build tiny World Cup statues out of Cheetos.

Happy Monday, you guys. Or not, if you’re Argentinian.