Yes, I’m going to blog about it. 

Yes, I’ve read the books. Twice. 

Yes, I liked them, if only in the ‘Oh my god, is that even possible? I’m SO making fun of this book’ way.

Fifty Shades (Book) Sentiments

I think that Anastasia Steele is a GIANT WIMPY PANSY and that Christian Grey is really messed up and that E L James need to go sit in a corner and think about what she’s done. 

I hate E L James annoying way of writing that ensures Anastasia is portrayed as a shallow, vapid idiot that has every male within breathing distance be in love with her. (Oh, I’m just a plain Jane…my sparkling blue eyes are SO boring, my lustrous brown hair is SO boring, my slim figure is SO boring…seriously, why is everyone in love with me?!). And I hate that she did the same thing to Christian Grey (I am a damaged man…I make $100,000 an hour.) and I hate the stupid unnecessary sex scenes. (You’re crying? Let’s have sex. Your mom doesn’t care about you? Let’s have sex. I just arrived back from a plane crash? Let’s have sex.)

But. BUT. BUTT. Despite the shallow, annoying leads and the abundance of weird sex scenes, I liked that Anastasia tried to help Christian. I liked that he had issues and he was willing to admit them (albeit in a manner that is very unrealistic, even for an erotica). I like that the two of them are very emotionally open with each other (again, in a very unrealistic manner but at least they try). And I liked that his psychological state improved considerably over the span of the three books. 

Fifty Shades (Trailer) Sentiments

Thought: Where is Matt Bomer?