Okay, so everyone who knows me well knows that my mouth is stupid. I have a habit of panicking whenever people focus their attention on me, which results in my brain malfunctioning, and instead of coming up answers that a person of moderate intelligence might give, my mouth ends up uttering the most useless horseshit in the entire history of the universe. And today, I added to the (super long) list of embarrassing things I’ve said.
And today, I added to the (super long) list of embarrassing things I’ve said. This is how the short – but no less disastrous – conversation went down:
Peter: My wife and I are having a baby!
Me: Yay! Congratulations! What breed is it?
Lunch table: *awkward silence*
Derek, in a whisper: Gender. It’s called gender.
Oh, if only there was a rubbish chute nearby, I would have torn my mouth out and throw it in the trash.