Poor Ron: In Which Everyone Completely Underestimates Ron Weasley, Even His Creator (Part 1)

If By Yes

Recently, JK Rowling admitted in an interview with Emma Watson that she sometimes regrets putting Ron and Hermione together romantically. Like the rest of us, she wonders whether bumbling, incompetent, lazy Ron could really have made the industrious and brilliant Hermione happy.

That made me really sad. Because the last couple times reading through the series, I’ve been paying attention to Ronald Weasley, and I’ve realized something:

Yes, Ron is lazy. Yes, Ron buggers off on Harry twice. Yes, Ron has inferiority problems. Yes, Ron is flawed.

But Ron is also the most underestimated character in the series.

Ron is continually underestimated by Hermione, by Harry, by his family… he even underestimates himself.

If you actually WATCH Ron, you start to notice things.

Ron Is Smart

We all remember how Ron saved the day in the first book by winning the game of chess against McGonnagle’s giant chess set. If…

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I can’t function before 9 am

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Life update: a little bit more dysfunctional than usual because I had to wake up at 4.30 this morning to send mom to the airport and also because I’ve been sick for the last two weeks and have drank quite a bit of cough syrup and paracetamol and they’re making me super drowsy.

My first thought when I woke up was I can’t do this. There are some great things I am meant for but mornings aren’t one of them. And then I spent ten minutes dozing off and then another ten being blinded by my handphone screen while I send out a tweet. In the washroom, it took me about seven centuries to figure out how to open a tube of toothpaste because it seemed as though my eyes had been glued shut and my fingers replaced by flimsy rubber gloves.

Reached work an hour early but I haven’t done anything productive and it’s now 9 am. Jeremy from the next table has asked me twice if I’m okay because I’ve been blowing my nose quite loudly. I’ve forgotten all and every form of social etiquette, and have decided to spend my life being an utter brat. Also, I’m writing in a really strange tone, I can’t figure myself out. I’m going off to the office toilet to take nap.

Don’t even know what I’m doing right now,

Ei

Can

Life update: Weird itches and NaNoWriMo

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I’m sorry I haven’t blogged in three months but – BUT – BUUUUUUUUUT, please allow me to make up for that with an embarrassing story of my own stupidity.

1. Two weeks ago, I sat down on a treadmill while trying to wrap a present (long story) and then broke out in hives ten minutes later. By hives, I’m not just talking about the small red ones. These are the big angry ITCHY ones that sprout all over your body and make you scratch enough for people to think that you have a goddamn disease. I first tried to get rid of them using hand cream. Surprise, surprise, it didn’t work. So then I went to the office first aid box and found some (just a few months expired) lotion that was supposed to help with rashes and insect bites so I rubbed them happily all over my leg. It did work for a little while, but when I look down a few minutes later, MY ENTIRE LEG WAS STAINED YELLOW FROM THE LOTION. I looked like a freaking extended family member of the Simpsons from waist down. I rushed to the doctor’s during lunch and here was how the conversation went:

Doctor (writing on my patient card): They look like allergic reactions or bed bug bites. Did you eat anything wrong or sleep in a different bed? 

Me: No, but I sat down on a treadmill. 

Doctor: You sat on a treadmill and…? 

Me: I broke out in hives. 

Doctor (stops writing): Are you trying to tell me that you broke out in hives because you’re allergic to the treadmill?

Me: It happens…right?

As it turned out, no it doesn’t happen and the doctor assured me about seventy-five times that I didn’t have an allergy to treadmills OR exercise OR sweat and that there was no need for me to avoid exercising for the next ten years. Bummer. I was sent home with a prescription for bed bug bites (apparently bed bugs live everywhere, even on exercise machines) and the understanding that I am a huge gigantic dork.

2. Also, I tried participating in NaNoWriMo this year. For those don’t know what that is…go google it. I’m too lazy to explain. My aim was to write the world’s bestest most fucking awesome novel in A MONTH and win the Nobel Prize for Literature next year or the year after, but as it turned out…well, it didn’t turn out anyway. I couldn’t hit my goal for 50k words. I managed to go up to 30k+ before realizing that my story was shit and abandoning the project. Since then, I’ve been an utterly unproductive potato and finished all four seasons of Game of Thrones in four days. I’ve also considered the prospects of leaving my job and getting myself a sugar daddy to pay for my student loans but I’m having difficulty find a man that doesn’t need me to A) Sleep with him, B) Or Meet him, C) Or ever talk to him and D) is willing to transfer me endless supply of dollars through an untraceable account for my efforts in doing nothing. If you know such a man, please contact me at my blog email. Thank you.

Quick question for anyone who sees this: were your 20s such a big disaster too?

Love,

E

Everyone has something to say

The amount of times I’m thinking, “Uuuuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” in my head while someone is trying to tell me what they think about Asians or people or ponies or stuffs or whatever is getting out of hand. It’s probably very rude but uuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *insert rebellious expression* uuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Cancer Night Tonight

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As part of my Gradual Breakdown process, I’m re-watching a shit ton of cancer movies tonight. Funny how when I watched them pre-Mom’s-cancer, I thought they were just sad, but now they are sad AND true, which makes them even sadder. Here’s the list, in case anyone wants to share the experience:

1. Now Is Good – my favorite of the bunch. Tessa is probably how I am right now.

2. A Little Bit of Heaven

3. The Fault in Our Stars – John Green, yada yada

4. A Walk to Remember

5. My Sister’s Keeper

6. Stepmom

7. P.S I Love You

8. The Last Song – Miley Cyrus before twerking

9. About Time – Not about cancer, but I’m going to watch it anyway because it’s one of my favorite movies ever from the soundtrack to the romance

10. Titanic – Because Jack dies in spite of the fact that the huge ass door can fit two people

How’s your Friday night looking?

From a Buick 8 by Stephen King and an alien rant

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I just finished reading this book and I have to write about it while it’s fresh in my mind. Two things first: A) I don’t usually read horrors/thrillers/mystery because I am a giant wuss and I get nightmares when I read them B) but I decided to be brave and read it anyway. 

Here’s a dumbed down synopsis of the plot: An old Buick got abandoned a gas station and was brought to a police station. Since then, it has been taken care by the officers for like…thirty years without the public knowing about it because it turns out (DRUMROLL PLEASE) it’s not just any ordinary car: it happened to be a linkway between Earth and an alien planet. The officers (Troopers, they are called in the book) kept it a secret because they believed it is their duty to protect the people and also because the main guys who found it wanted to study it for themselves. The annoying thing about the Buick is that it kept spitting out all these alien bats and leaves and an actual E.T that was immediately chowed down by the police dog. (It later got poisoned by the fluids from the same ET and died.) And yeah. That pretty much is it. 

Of course, Stephen King told it in a much scarier way because he’s Stephen King and everything he does is scary…even his name scares me sometimes. But I’m not as freaked out by this book as I was by his other ones (like The Shining or Carrie) because one main thing: ALIENS. 

I get why people are obsessed with them, I really do. And I think they exists. And I think they’ve been to Earth. 

No, I’m serious. 

I think they’ve been to Earth, we just don’t know it yet because I’m pretty sure they just turned around and left after like, two days. Think about it. We’re not entirely that interesting. Sometimes we give ourselves too much credit (I blame Hollywood for that) by thinking that everyone wants to live in Planet Earth because it can ‘sustain life’. But what if ‘sustenance’ doesn’t actually mean oxygen or trees or pizza? I’m sure aliens have their own way of surviving and they are perfectly fine with their lives and have no intention of bunking in with us. Aliens doesn’t always have to be synonymous with ‘OH MY GOD, THEY’RE GOING TO GET US! THEY WANT TO TAKE OVER THE PLANET AND EAT US AND MAKE US THEIR SLAVES! QUICK, GET TOM CRUISE AND JAMES CAMERON AND SIGOURNEY WEAVER WE NEED TO SAVE AMERICA….AND THE REST OF THE WORLD TOO, IF WE HAVE TIME!’

Get off your high horses, homo sapiens, we’re not that big of a deal. Yesterday, I saw my mother tried to use a phone upside down and my colleague walked into a door. Do you really think these are the species aliens would want to control? Didn’t think so.

Fifty Shades of THAT-MOVIE-THAT-DOESNT-CONTAIN-MATT-BOMER trailer

Yes, I’m going to blog about it. 

Yes, I’ve read the books. Twice. 

Yes, I liked them, if only in the ‘Oh my god, is that even possible? I’m SO making fun of this book’ way.

Fifty Shades (Book) Sentiments

I think that Anastasia Steele is a GIANT WIMPY PANSY and that Christian Grey is really messed up and that E L James need to go sit in a corner and think about what she’s done. 

I hate E L James annoying way of writing that ensures Anastasia is portrayed as a shallow, vapid idiot that has every male within breathing distance be in love with her. (Oh, I’m just a plain Jane…my sparkling blue eyes are SO boring, my lustrous brown hair is SO boring, my slim figure is SO boring…seriously, why is everyone in love with me?!). And I hate that she did the same thing to Christian Grey (I am a damaged man…I make $100,000 an hour.) and I hate the stupid unnecessary sex scenes. (You’re crying? Let’s have sex. Your mom doesn’t care about you? Let’s have sex. I just arrived back from a plane crash? Let’s have sex.)

But. BUT. BUTT. Despite the shallow, annoying leads and the abundance of weird sex scenes, I liked that Anastasia tried to help Christian. I liked that he had issues and he was willing to admit them (albeit in a manner that is very unrealistic, even for an erotica). I like that the two of them are very emotionally open with each other (again, in a very unrealistic manner but at least they try). And I liked that his psychological state improved considerably over the span of the three books. 

Fifty Shades (Trailer) Sentiments

Thought: Where is Matt Bomer?