I didn’t run out screaming halfway through the class. I didn’t attempt to murder any of my classmates or professors. I didn’t get arrested. All in all, it was good. Well done, me.
I’m having my first class at 6.30pm.
I bought a new bag and new clothes and new shoes (all in the name of education, of course) and I’m wearing them today. Now it’s almost lunch time and I’m at my desk bouncing my knees up and down, feeling all jittery and out of wack and hoping that there will at least be ONE person in classmate who is reasonably smart and also willing to be my friend, so that we can learn together and also so that I can copy assignments from them on days when my brain disapparate faster than Ron Weasley can say Wingardium Leviosa.
I am very nervous, if you haven’t realized yet already. I can’t focus on work and I need to something with my hands and under normal circumstances, I would be texting my friends but Mel is in Malaysia and doesn’t have access to WiFi and Jess is at the US Embassy and doesn’t have access to her phone, and I don’t wanna text other friends because they’re not used to my nervous breakdowns and would probably end up saying things that makes me feel even worse, so here I am on a blog, writing. Which is something I always turn to/end up doing in my times of need. Thank god for blogs and papers and other shits that have been putting up with writers’ with word vomits. Is there a proper word for word vomit? I don’t know. I should probably Google it but I can’t seem to be able to find the calm to reach for my mouse and click somewhere else other than a page where I can type and type and type.
OH GOD. WHAT IF I COMPLETELY SUCK IN CLASS. What if I fail??? I’M ON A HALF SPONSORSHIP FROM SCHOOL AND ALSO PLANNING TO TAKE THE DISSERTATION ROUTE, I NEED AT LEAST A B+ FOR ALL MY MODULES I CANNOT FAIL. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if I did fail, I know, but still. I don’t wanna end up on the streets, twerking my butt and shaking my boobs to a dollar bill. Not that there is anything wrong with being a stripper, by the way. Especially if you enjoy being one. I read somewhere that really good strippers make up to $10,000 a month? Like whut? That is more money that I will ever get in a month in this decade, even on my stupid Master’s degree. Plus, it has been scientifically proven that if you’re a stripper, you have a higher chance of dating Richard Gere. So, maybe being a stripper isn’t all that bad. Except if you’re someone who gets cold really easily, like me.
Also, I’m wearing yellow. Is yellow a good color to wear on a first day???? I DON’T KNOW, I DON’T KNOW, I DON’T KNOW. GGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH. I GONNA MAKE MYSELF SOME CAMOMILE TEA.